The Successful Home And Marriage
Part II: The Partnership
The institution of marriage is under attack as never before. Statistics tell us that in 1960, more than 70 percent of adults in America were married. By 2011, that figure dropped to 51 percent and it’s still falling. It used to be that young people married in their 20s and 30s to start families of their own, but today, we’re seeing an increasing number of people in that age bracket still living at home with their parents. In essence, more than half of this present generation is refusing marriage—the foundation of God’s most important institution.
In this second installment of my husband’s article series, “The Successful Home and Marriage,” he addresses the biblical reasons for men and women to marry, and the power of their partnership.
UNBOUND TO MARRIAGE
Though Adam and Eve were created perfect, God intended them to be married. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.” So, even perfect, sinless people (and none of those exist today) were brought together in marriage.
In the beginning, Adam and Eve were holy and virtuous. God Himself came down from heaven to walk with Adam in the cool of the evening. He spoke with him in the garden of Eden. His presence and His blessings were upon their relationship. The closer God’s presence is sought (and realized) in a marriage and a home, the greater will be the blessing. God established the home and wants to bless it.
Those who make slurring remarks about marriage and the relationship of a husband and wife are depraved, slanderous, and engaging in abominations before the Lord. God told us (in the book of Hebrews, through the apostle Paul) that marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed is undefiled by whoremongers.
God will judge adulterers. Some do not want to be bound by the bonds of marriage. Today we hear much of trial marriages. In all honesty, these are not marriages in any sense of the word. They are situations where a man and woman live together while they decide if they like each other. If they do, they might go ahead and get married someday. Does this make for a better relationship? Every survey—including those taken by ungodly people indicates that the same problems people have in marriage come to the surface when they live together without the benefit of marriage. These unwed couples demonstrate the same reactions as married people when confronted with the normal problems present in any marriage.
Because some people feel they know more than God and refuse to be guided by divine laws and commandments, they advocate living together—or painless and easy divorce. This is one of the major problems in America today—and divorces are becoming easier and easier to obtain. It should not be this way.
Marriage has always constituted the bedrock of any society whether a tribe, village, city, or a nation. It is holy in the eyes of the Almighty, and that should never be forgotten. Perversions of God’s instructions for marriage and perverting the laws of God, have always resulted in disaster. Marriage was made for mankind—and it is the plan of an infinitely loving and wise God.
There are many sensible reasons why people should get married. First of all, every person needs fellowship. People basically require fellowship with others, and marriage was intended by God to ease our loneliness. God meant marriage for the lonely heart, and to supply fellowship, comfort, and joy.
This is the reason God said, “It is not good that man should be alone.”
A man may have good things to eat, and all other needs met, but he still feels incomplete unless he has a good wife. Though the needs of his physical condition may be met, no abiding satisfaction will exist unless he has a good wife at his side.
Conversely—a woman can be an excellent cook and an expert in household affairs, but she finds no joy in her domestic expertise if there is no husband to enjoy and to share what she has prepared. This kind of “fellowship relationship” is extremely important.
Men and women are basically different in many ways and have different needs. In their partnership (or relationship), each fulfills the needs of the other. It has been stated many times and in various ways that it doesn’t matter how talented a man may be, how much ability a man has, nor how much education he may have attained—he will not succeed as he should unless he has a good woman at his side.
Few attain great success despite a wife. Most who attain great success do so because of a good and supportive wife.
At times a man can be a bit lazy. A wife can be a great help in prodding him on. Certainly this is not true in every case, but there are many cases where this can be a significant factor. It is true with reference to this ministry.
At this moment, we have one of the largest television audiences in the world, numbering into millions, and we have over 10 million records sold. Not for even a moment ignoring God’s hand in all this, I must say that great credit for these accomplishments must go to Frances, my wife. None of this would have been accomplished without her help and encouragement.
This type of marriage partnership is imperative for the type of success we have experienced. To say that she has been an encouragement and a help is an understatement. There have been many times when projects have been undertaken only because my wife kept telling me how much it would bless people and produce great results for the kingdom of God.
Because of Frances’ support, encouragement, and vision, we have consistently pressed on—into one area of expansion and development after another.
When two are committed to the same thing, a dynamic power is produced. Scripture tells us that if two can agree concerning anything, mighty deeds become possible. When husband and wife, as a team, agree together, they can experience the fullest possible demonstration of that promise.
Countless times there has been discouragement, and it seemed as though quitting might be best, but Frances has always encouraged, inspired, and helped me. I know this is what God intended. Man needs a helpmeet, and Frances has consistently filled that role. I wish I could tell you of the hardships and sacrifices she has endured that we might together proclaim the gospel.
Going into evangelistic work was difficult. Traveling with a child and trying to train and teach him while on the road was difficult. Many times the church basements or church apartments in which we stayed were far from clean. Conditions were often discouraging. Yet Frances never once entertained the thought of stopping or turning back.
Night after night, she and Donnie were unfailingly in attendance at the service. She went because she knew I needed her. This helped me so much more than anyone could ever know. The marriage partnership is so necessary. This particular one has resulted in millions of souls being touched and stirred. The dedication and help of my wife has been, to a very large degree, responsible for this. This is what God has ordained. Marriage is so honorable. There is a fellowship; there is a partnership.
There are great achievements in united efforts for God as two labor and think and plan together, each helping the other. Everything we do is talked over and planned together. My wife’s judgement, wisdom, and advice is valued more than that of anyone else in the world. We feel that this is the way marriage should be, and that the institution of marriage is a God-ordained ideal.
A proper relationship can result in a wonderfully happy home, which is a bit like heaven on earth. It gives a testimony to light a world that needs God’s design and plan for the institution of marriage.
Marriage is also necessary because of our basic biological needs. This has been called the “sex age.” When we discuss sex, though, we should keep in mind that God created sex. It was not dirty, perverted, or obscene in the beginning. Man has caused it to become all of these things. God intended sex to be beautiful, and it is when it involved a husband and wife.
The perversions we see all about us today are not of God’s doing. Unfortunately, they cause many people to look at sex generally as being wrong. Sex in itself is not wrong, nor is it dirty or evil. God Himself placed in humans the sex drive that is an inescapable part of marriage, love, mating, and fulfillment in the context of a home.
The drive that presses men and women toward marriage is placed there by God. So the sex drive is not wrong; it’s really holy in the sight of God. Some may never have heard it referred to in this way, and some might be unable to think of sex as being holy. It is though. It was made by God. It is normal in God’s sight and it is right and proper within the framework of marriage.
A young Christian was heard to say that he was going to stay in his room and pray until God took the sex urge away from him. I expect he stayed in his room a long time. In all probability, his prayer proved futile. The normal sex drive is given by God, and it is good. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with it. Man has perverted it as Satan has influenced man.
Unfortunately, some Christians speak of the sex drive as if it were evil and wicked. Some even label it “original sin.” There are those who call the normal biological urge “lust.” Of course, there is such a thing as lust, and lust is common today.
But the normal sex drive and desire placed in the normal human being by God is not lust. While it can be (and is) perverted, it is basically and essentially something God created holy and beautiful. God intended, however, that the normal sex drive be satisfied within the holy communion of wedlock.
God makes beautiful and wonderful things. He has ordained marriage and the home. It is the oldest institution and the most basic and important in society. It has the potential to be a most glorious experience for the people involved. Since it is a God-ordained institution, it must be established on divine principles if it is to prove to be that desired bit of heaven on earth.
Source: Pew Research: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/08/01/a-rising-share-of-young-adults-live-in-their-parents-home/