The Master Weaver
Grief is the pain, sorrow, and mourning of the body or mind for the loss of anything that is valued or about which a person cares. It is usually connected with the death of a loved one or friend. However, people also grieve about disabilities, the loss of limbs or organs, giving up smoking, alcohol, drugs, or certain foods, losing a boyfriend or girlfriend, a marital breakup, losing a job or position, moving, separation from children, retirement, or having a terminal illness.
For every loss, there is an adjustment period that is either constructive or destructive. It is impossible for us not to react to a loss, but a mourner can choose how he will adjust. Problems occur when people either avoid dealing with their losses or adjust to them in an unscriptural and harmful way.
The intensity and duration of the grief depends on the closeness of the relationship, how the deceased died, how the survivor has dealt with previous losses, how stable the survivor is emotionally and spiritually, and the ethnic and religious background of the survivor.
Before a person can begin to adjust to his loss, he must first accept the reality of the loss. Deaths are generally denied because the survivor does not want to admit the loss of someone who played a tremendously important part in his life.
The Bible tells us that the child of God does not sorrow over death the way others do because of the hope the child of God has. Because of this hope, there is a special comfort that can be shared with those who are grieving (I Thess. 4:13-18).
Since Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief (Isa. 53:4), He can identify with that through which we are going (Heb. 4:15). He will help us as no one else can. As we walk through the valley that results from the death of another, or we are in preparation for our own death, He will comfort us (Ps. 23:4).
When we know that God is in control, that He loves us with a perfect love (I Jn. 4:18), and that He works all things together for our good as we love and follow His purpose (Romans 8:28), it makes all the difference in dealing with losses. We may not understand why things happen, but sometimes God will show us His purposes.
The following is a poem written to our oldest daughter when she miscarried her first child and our first grandchild:
The Master Weaver
“I visited the shop of the Master Weaver because in His skill, I was a believer.
“His reputation had spread far and near, but I wanted to see and not just hear.
“I was amazed as His hands did race. I had never seen such skill and grace.
“The shuttle and beam of His loom did fly, but shocked, I could not believe my eye.
“Instead of being pretty, it was a mess. What He was doing, I could not guess.
“Rather than making a beautiful pattern, it was looking more and more tattered.
“‘Is this the work of a Master Weaver?’ I asked, still struggling to be a believer.
“How could one whose skill was superior create something that looked so inferior?
“Hurt and angry, I tried to leave in haste, because I was upset at the enormous waste.
“Though He motioned me to come to His side, my pain and confusion I could not hide.
“He wanted me to come and see what He saw. So, I went to Him and looked … With awe.
“What seemed to be ruined from the rear, from the front looked better and more clear.
“It not only was a beautiful pattern, but it had words that worked like a lantern.
“In the darkness of my grief, doubt, and pain, the words fell on my heart like a gentle rain.
“Instead of remaining sad, I grew glad as the words reminded me of an old Greyhound ad,
“About not worrying when riding a bus: ‘Just trust Me and leave the driving to Us.’”